Manipulative Woman Tries To Make Fiancé Take Money From Abusive Father For Their Wedding

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/Agitated-Welcome2502 1 day ago AITA for taking a major financial decision without the input of my fiacée? Not the A-hole
  • 02
    Human body - This is going to be a long post with a lot of background info so please bear with me.
  • 03
    Font - Before I(32M) was born my mom found out that my bio father was cheating. They started on the divorce proceedings before she found out she was expecting. When she told him he said that was impossible since he was infertile and she must have cheated.
  • 04
    Font - He asked for a paternity test but she was emotionally exhausted (I now suspect he was abusive but she never told me so), so she asked instead that he sign away his parental rights since he was so sure that I wasn't his. Then she moved in with my grandparents.
  • 05
    Font - When I was 14 I asked her about him and I wanted the full story, she told me what I wrote above and me being the immature teen boy that I was threatened to run away unless she contacted him (I thought then that she was just being petty and if he had proof I was his kid he would be a dad)
  • 06
    Font - When she did he sent this really hurtful letter to both of us, calling her a lot of names that make my blood boil and accusing her of trying to bleed him dry of his money. That was the day I decided that I don't need him at all.
  • 07
    Font - Fast foreward to about 8 months ago, I guess he had a near death experience and tried to contact my mom to apologize for what he did, of course she refused but he managed to get a picture of me. I am like his clone.
  • 08
    Font - He contacted me saying that he was wrong and immature and that he wanted to get to know the only kid he had in this life. I refused.
  • 09
    Font - Then he started trying to bribe me to interact with him (offering to pay for my student loans, offering to get me a house, inviting me on expensive trips...) I refused everything.
  • 10
    Font - I told my fiancée (F29) everything, and she was supportive at first, then she started to urge me to get him to pay off our loans and help us get a home. I refused categorically. (It is relevant to mention that due to the pandemic we have a lot of debt and we delayed our wedding just to pay some of it down)
  • 11
    Font - I got fed up and asked him to meet, then I told him that I will never accept a cent from him, and if he tried to contact me again I would be calling the cops and doing my best to get a restraining order.
  • 12
    Font - When I told my fiancée she exploded on me, said that me making that big a financial decision without consulting her showed her just how controlling and selfish I am. Now she left and won't answer my calls. So AITA?
  • 13
    Font - PS: first thank you all, I have read every single comment. Second, since I've seen it a lot in the comments: we are not in a desperate situation, the debt we decided to pay was all credit card debt (less than $6k) and we are not planning to pay for our wedding by borrowing, that's why we decided to postpone it so we can save for it. We are current on all our bills and are paying extra for the CC and saving for our wedding at the same time.
  • 14
    Font - OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I refused a big sum of money without consulting with my fiancée.

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